Study To Be Quiet


Sometime ago I felt impressed that I needed to do a wordless fast. In other words, take a vow of silence for a season.  I went to my husband with the idea and, surprisingly, he was not on board with the idea at all... so I waited.  I didn't say anything else about it but in my early morning prayer time I would get these inklings that I was going to be required to give up words for a time. Then, out of the blue, about a month later, my husband came to me and said "Shelly, you know that vow of silence thing you were talking about doing, tell me about it."  I really didn't know what to tell him other than I felt like I was suppose to do one.  I have never done this nor have I ever talked to anyone that has.  I did, however, feel like the Lord wanted to teach me something through the process and I shared those feelings with my husband.  After our conversation he felt comfortable enough to agree that when I felt like it was time, he would support me.

So after preparing friends and family and after much prayer, I began at 12:01am on a quiet Monday morning.  My husband was still up studying and by 2am I was already thinking, "this is not going to be easy".  There is a certain vulnerability that comes from losing the power of your voice and I was already experiencing that "soft side up" feeling.

 One would think that not talking would be relatively easy.  Just don't talk, no biggie, right?  Wrong!  It IS a big deal.  Somewhere in the 20,000 words I speak a day (according to a well known, best selling author, women average 20,000 words a day, while men only use 7000) anyway, somewhere in all those opinions, voiced concerns, and conversations is my personality, my persona, my individualism.  Lose that, and I've lost the biggest part of ME...  

Wasn't it John the Baptist that said, "I must decrease so that He can increase."  And wasn't John the Baptist THE VOICE of one crying in the wilderness?  John's mission had been to prepare the way for the Lord.  He, quite frankly, was a little weird.  He ate bugs, he wore stinky camel's hair, and let's just say, he was not among the socially elite.  He did, however, in all of his eccentricity, have an audience with God and was in possession of the mandate and the message for the hour.  His was the voice to be heard... scripture refers to him as THE Voice.  Yet... when Jesus began His public ministry, John was immediately aware that it was time for him to diminish and for all eyes to be on the "Lamb of God".  John's words still move me, "Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world".  It was now HIS time, Jesus' voice had to be heard. 

Was it hard John?  Did you have a battle in your mind? Did the enemy try to belittle and demean you?  You knew the right thing to do... but you had been THE VOICE!  You love Him, but decrease is never easy.

Laying down my voice caused an immediate diminishing of "me".  I couldn't answer the phone, or greet people in the grocery store.  I couldn't have a conversation with my grandchildren or even get my dogs to obey me... they were accustomed to my voice.  By the third day, co-workers, friends, and even family stopped trying to engage with me. IT WAS AWFUL! Strangely enough, not having my own voice caused me to weep in ways that I didn't understand at first. I would say to myself, "why am I weeping so deeply, I feel like I am grieving my own death"  And there it was...  Shelly Lickliter was diminishing, decreasing, dying.  John was "the voice", Jesus is "the Word".  The Word has to take over my voice so that He can be heard. Selah
Jesus said...    'If any one wants to come after me, let him disown himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.   Matt. 16:24 YLT   That I May Know Him :))

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